You may let your parents make the most important decision of the life, whom to marry. Or, you may take the plunge yourself. However, the union of a man and woman can’t be successful until both make deliberate efforts setting aside the egos to attain compatibility.
In the absence of compatibility, either of marriages could go wrong. So, are the two types of marriages different? I don’t think so.
If an arrange marriage fails, parents try to console their daughters / sons by saying that it is their destiny. Non-apologetic parents claim that they tried their best to find the most suitable match. But, there is no dearth of incidences in which negative sides of brides and / or grooms, a major source of bitterness, are revealed post marriage. For instance, fatal diseases, deformities, violent behavior and any other issues may prevent the marital alliance if revealed during initial stage of the nuptial process. Although it is difficult to find out these facts, does parents even verify all antecedents of the first degree relatives of the prospective bride or groom.
If a love marriage fails, parents scold their daughters / sons. Parents remind children about warnings they had given to their children about children’s inability to judge their lovers. What can parents do when children make a wrong choice ignoring parental advice? Why do they fall in love at all?
If an arrange marriage succeeds, parents are boastful about their ability to find a right partner. If a love marriage blooms, parents are boastful about their children’s ability. In both cases, parents take credit for the success.
Is it fair?